Enron, the Bee Gees, and Shopping for a SAM in Nicaragua

 

I haven’t written anything lately because there is not much to report. I have been hanging out in the hammock, engrossed in the story of Enron. (Conspiracy of Fools by Kurt Eichenwald.) Normally, I race through books, but this one requires a slow, careful read. There are so many details of complicated transactions; I could hardly keep them straight. Fortunately, there is an excellent Cast of Characters at the beginning of the book, complete with dates of office and the definitions of acronyms and contract titles.

Before I started reading the book, I had a rather low opinion of anyone associated with Enron. I found it hard to believe that any employee could not see the problems from within. The illegal trades the outrageous compensation, acquisitions of broadband, water, wind and electric utilities – I saw Enron from a distance and the military term “FUBAR” came to mind. It is an appropriate term. As I read the book, it was easy to understand why so many employees and investors got conned into a multi-billion dollar shell game, at least initially. Those who did try to warn company officials were ignored or terminated. Any analyst from the big banks, investment companies, and Arthur Anderson who questioned Enron’s accounting methods found themselves out of a job after a few phone calls from Ken Lay, Jeff Shilling, and Andy Fastow. Report anything negative and the banks would lose the huge commissions to broker the deals.

W

hat amazed me was how few people it took to bring such a huge company to its knees. Andy Fastow bears the brunt of it, along with Michael Kopper, Richard Causey, and Ben Glisan (Enron) and David Duncan (Arthur Anderson). As much as I dislike Ken Lay, he comes off as more of a naïve, incompetent fool in the book, the son of a poor minister who became too enamored with wealth and the social register. I don’t believe that he was out to rape the company (that was Fastow). His stock sales before the crash were necessitated by his personal debts ($70 million), and it appears he resisted selling. He truly believed Enron stock would go up. He was willing to forgo the $61 million golden parachute and his position during the negotiations to merge with Dynegy to save Enron. I don’t think he’s innocent of all of the crimes he has been charged with, particularly since Sherron Watkins told him about the Raptor time bomb before the company went bankrupt, but his real errors were not verifying the numbers tossed around by his CFO and failing to do his job properly. Enron never even had a cash flow statement despite the legal requirements to do so. Enron never had a debt maturity schedule! Yes, a multi-billion dollar company had no record of how much cash it had on hand or when its debts were due. It appears that Skilling and Lay never even knew about the most of the debts.

They hired James Baker as a consultant, but no one paid any attention to his advice. His important analysis that could have averted three disasters (horrible business deals in India, England, and Brazil) was tucked away in a file cabinet, apparently unread by anyone in the International Division or the Board of Directors. 

One problem I had prior to reading the book was Enron’s decision to lock out the employees from their pension fund. However, the lockout of employee pension funds occurred at the same time every year, the last week of October. (The same with most companies.) Many employees lost less money after the lockout because the stock price happened to increase over the week. Once the lockout was over, many employees bought more Enron stock, believing Enron’s stock had bottomed out and would only get better. Employees had time to disinvest before the lockout. They chose not to.

The author failed to mention the fake trading room, which I think is significant. As you may recall, there was a trade room with fancy computers. Nothing as going on, but when bigwigs came to visit, employees were herded into the room to pretend there was trading activity taking place. Every person sitting in front of the screen was guilty of conspiracy to commit fraud, and yet I haven’t heard of any arrests. 

In other news, my Bee Gees craving has been satiated. My household goods are STILL in Managua (maybe this week the folks in Customs will finally release them since they have now had ample time to rifle through my goods – fortunately 80 percent of my stuff is book related and my music collection is U2 and the Police and the Grateful Dead and Dave Matthews, not exactly popular artists in Latin America, so perhaps my goods have not been pilfered), but in the meantime, I purchased another bootleg CD – The Bee Gees Greatest Hits. I actually own this double CD set, but in its eighteen years of extended play, I have somehow manage to wear out a spot on “How Deep Is Your Love” and “You Should Be Dancing”, so the CD skips or get stuck on those particular tracks. I needed replacement, so along came a bootlegger and for 30 cordobas ($1.80), I have a back up. The Bee Gees made a lot of money from me in my youth, so I don’t feel terrible about the bootleg copy (but I’m sure I eventually guilt will strike and when I find a record store will replace my worn copies with authentic ones.) Now I can listen to the Bee Gees on my CD Walkman, but I can’t sing along because there is no music to hide my voice from my husband and cats. I’m an alto and I don’t have the voice to sing along with Barry Gibb (who I planned to marry one day, such was my obsession!) whose voice can shatter glass. I can’t hit the high notes! I’m sure Richmond (my Maine Coon cat) can’t wait for the stereo to arrive, as he loves dancing with me to disco music.

Speaking of the Bee Gees, last week I went to an after hours bar (but not after hours because I am a wimp who wants to be in bed by 11 p.m. at the latest) that was playing old Disco Inferno videos (not The “Disco Inferno” – Stephen King’s favorite song in the world) from the 1970’s – ABBA, Billy Ocean (wearing tangerine polyester), Michael Jackson pre-surgery and other disco divas. At one point, the bartender switched to Disco Karaoke from the 1970’s – more ABBA, the Bee Gees, John Travolta…you get the idea. The bar was half ex-pats and tourists, half Nicas. EVERYONE sang along to the music. It was such a riot to hear people singing “Dancing Queen” and the greatest hits from “Grease”! The night before, the Iguana had live music, which consisted of Jay playing his guitars, with Dee (owner of the Iguana) singing along. Two other locals, Justin and Bill, joined in at times on the guitar. The music was eclectic – a blues version of “Summertime” (from the opera “Porgy and Bess”), Tracy Chapman, Led Zepplin, and more. By the end of the night, everyone was singing along to the music. I wish music night was a weekly event at the Iguana! 

Last Monday we heard a presentation from an archeologist studying what he believes to be Nicaragua’s original capitol before the Spanish arrived. The site is just outside of Rivas, about 45 minutes from San Juan del Sur. Unfortunately, many artifacts have been destroyed by centuries of farming. It was a nice break from the usual routine. It left me with more questions than he could answer. Rob and I spent the rest of night in deep discussion, wondering if there really was a cocoa trading route as the professor hypothesized, why the Mayans allowed passage through their territory (I suggested they imposed a tax), why the Mayans didn’t move further south, and why the Incas and Mayans had their pyramids, but nothing like that exists in between in Nicaragua (destroyed by volcanic activity?).

On the topic of volcanoes, Concepcion (on Isla de Ometepe, directly East of SJDS in Lago Colcibolca) is expected to erupt sometime this year. There have been 13 eruptions in the past 120 years. There have been numerous tremors and even a 6.3 quake southeast of Rivas last week. The 6.3 occurred just before dawn and was strong enough to move our bed seven inches from the wall. (If a certain someone claims he made the earth move, I shall remind him that he was asleep at the time.) The roof sounded like it was buckling. I went to pick up a vase that had fallen on the floor when suddenly an aftershock hit. I could see the walls and floor shake. It was wild! There was no damage outside of the a few things falling off some less than sturdy plastic shelves in the bathroom. We have felt small tremors at least once a day since then. The tremors haven’t been large enough to rattle anything, but you can feel the floor move just a bit. Both Rob and I find the earthquakes fun, but only because they aren’t strong enough to harm anyone or anything. We hope that when Concepcion erupts, it’s just a release of steam. People live on the island, and we certainly don’t want them to loose their homes from lava flow. Most reports I have seen indicate it will be a small eruption.

We are supposed to sign the lease for the bookstore tomorrow. Hopefully, we will be okay with the terms. We have been told we can’t fry anything and we hope that doesn’t mean we can’t fry bacon for the quiches. The landlord knows we will be baking and doesn’t have a problem with that. She has guest rooms next door and doesn’t want loud music (which isn’t appropriate in a bookstore anyhow, but there will be music and it won’t be Muzak!) or drunken brawls (you know how violent those bibliophiles can get!).

I have scrapped the cat on a surfboard logo for something more simplistic, a black outline of a cat. It just got too busy for one color on a small bumper sticker. I will post the logo after it has been tweaked. I have to get advertising ready by August 10^th, as well as go shopping for fabric, tables and chairs, barstools, and an espresso machine. I haven’t wanted to do anything until I had a contract signed. 

The same man who built me a bookshelf and two very nice computer desks for the casa will make my bookshelves. Money, money, money! Actually, I am getting a great deal. I have eleven 84” high bookcases with one-inch board and six shelves, for $70 each. He is also making me two window benches. I will brave Mercado Oriental in Managua for the fabric. Supposedly you can find ANYTHING at Mercado Oriental. Need a Surface to Air Missile? According to Moon Books Nicaragua, “It is said that during the war years you could find contraband firearms and aircraft parts in the Mercado Oriental, if you knew where to ask. It’s still the wildest ride in the city, and it’s true that if you can’t find it here, you can’t find it in Nicaragua. However, it’s not for the faint of heart: someone gets robbed here very seven minutes.” Maybe it’s harder to find a SAM today, but for the adventurous tourist in need of a little souvenir, this would be the place to negotiate a deal, or at least an introduction to your arms dealer of choice. Just think how much fun you could have with airport security with this little trinket tucked inside your carry-on! My strategy is to take just enough cash tucked in my bra to buy fabric and incense (I’m just not in the market to purchase a SAM this month) and carry nothing else on my person. I know people who have shopped there without a problem, but I have heard horror stories. One person hired a bodyguard ($5 for two hours) so she could shop unimpeded. I don’t know how I would go about hiring a bodyguard. I think Rob has enough of a “don’t fuck with me” presence necessary for a successful shopping trip in Mercado Oriental. (He successfully navigated St. Petersburg as a semester abroad professor during the heyday of the mafia while carrying $45K on his person – you couldn’t trust Russian banks with that kind of money in 1994! – and was always motioned to walk around the metal detector of the mafia bar he frequented. Everyone thought he was mafia, but no one knew for sure. He looked Lithuanian and spoke with a Moscow accent.)

Well, I have blathered on for three pages without anything relevant to say, so I’ll keep this short (for me).

Hasta lluego!